Pre Year Memo

Search engine tuneup
While Sporadigram hasn't been the most productive blog on the block, there are signs that it's coming into itself. Just a couple of weeks ago, if you googled "Sporadigram," you would get the clarifying google-question, "Did you mean: spore diagram?" But today, "Sporadigram" is apparently high enough in the hit-charts to preempt any doubts Google's computers may form about your intentions. But just to be safe, in an effort to spare newer readers this kind of virtually awkward moment (and to save those who really want a spore diagram the effort of retyping), here is a spore diagram.

Spore diagram

Finally, some good economic news

Word up.

Sometimes when we least expect it, a fundamental shift occurs that has real consequences for all the coming days. Such a shift may have happened two weeks ago. A double-sided, photocopied, hand-scrawled letter was slipped under the front door of my office (our front door opens to the street -- as in, "to the people.") The letter was from one Ralph Sal Biscaglia. Ralph has a plan (among some other things) for increasing revenue and sanity at the same time. The craziest thing (well, that's an exaggeration) is that he's giving away these strategies and encouraging recipients of his letter to, and I quote, "Make as many copies as you want." So, in support of Ralph's quest for a Nobel Prize and in hopes of increases in your sales and sanity for the New Year, I post his letter here: Suqqess Letter (Yes, the strategy has a lot to do with changing all Cs to Qs.) The best of luqk to you!

The mystery bird

The first bird -- where I "live."

Mr. Biscaglia's letter is not the first time my office has been "leafletted" with curious material. A couple of years ago (I thought it is was more recently but pulling up the pictures corrects my wishful sense of time) I noticed an orange piece of paper stuck to my window (again, on the the ground floor). I walked outside to check it out and it was this goofy drawing of a bird with four-fingered wings -- goofy enough to leave there.

Second bird -- where I shop.

About two weeks later, at Trader Joe's, while reaching for some marinara sauce, something caught my eye that freaked me out -- a miniature version of my bird friend inserted into the price-tag slot on the grocery shelf right beneath the sauce I was reaching for. I spun around to see who was watching me. My routine movements about town were obviously being tracked and marked by a stalker with goofy bird papers.

And if this isn't weird enough, there was a third bird. Walking back to my office from a lunch meeting not two weeks after bird-two, the person I was walking with was compelled to pause at the $1 basket in front of a pet store (fair to say that such opportunity wouldn't typically cause pause). So, casually flipping through the pile of I-can't-remember-what, I see a folded piece of paper in the mix and pull it out. Bird three. This one, the last one I ever found, I still have in a drawer at home. If you have any idea where these birds came from, by all means, let me know.

Cargo pants: pouches of forgotten intentions
Like a lot of middle-aged people, I've caved to certain practicalities like buying pants at Costco. This usually brings to mind "relaxed-fit" sizes and "comfort" waist bands but I'm talking about real utility. Modern "man" has numerous essential devices and cargo pants answer the call. The phone, the camera, tissues for young children (and sad movies), a journal-writing pen, the shopping list, a bottle of hand sanitizer, nose-hair trimmer, pepper spray, and the things that've always been there (wallet, keys, and 67 cents). In France, guys wear a man-bag. In North America we wear it on our thighs -- under a discrete, double pleated velcro flap.

If you have more than one pair of cargo pants, and are given to any kind of forgetfulness, they will start to serve as a running time capsule of what you were in the middle of last time you wore them. Why is there a screw driver in here? Receipts for the cleaning supplies you didn't actually use. Notes-to-self about blog ideas or financial epiphanies involving switqhing letters around.

To break out of the Costco chic, I recently picked up (late adopter that I am) a pair of Carhartt pants. In addition to having a great phone pocket (my favorite), they also have a hammer loop. There's got to be a practical alternative use for the loop. For me, I guess that might be a dish towel. Other ideas?

Happy New Year!!